Monkeys get our ticks

The Arctic Monkeys swept the bores at the annual NME Music Awards in late February 2006 winning the awards for Best Band, Best New Band and Best Track for I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor. The biggest band out of the Sheffield region since the Human League in the 1980's beat teeny bop band Kaiser Chiefs and aging rockers Oasis to the award of best band - a major feat with the band only ever releasing two singles and one album. They acted a bit like dickheads when receiving the awards but that can be put down to their age and the booze.

One album wonders Kaiser Chiefs, the darlings of the culturally dry Leeds music scene took the award for best album with Employment which included the ringtones I Predict A Riot and Every Day I Love You Less And Less.

The sexiest male and female went to the pock-marked Pete Doherty and Madonna respectively while human rights campaigner Bob Geldof won the prize for top hero due to the LIive8 concert. Ricky Wilson won a prize for the best dressed man in Britain despite not dressing much better than Justin Hawkins of who at least knows he looks ridiculous.

The one award NME got right was in the worst album category where the worthy winner was James Blunt for his derivative Back To Bedlam which includes the ringtone hits You're Beautiful, Wisemen (stolen in part from Liverpool band Shack) and other rubbish.

Worst band of the year went to son of Busted Son Of Dork while best live act went to the soon to be forgotten Franz Ferdinand