Football
	Football ringtones In a move set to alienate many law-abiding fans, the German authorities will have the power to confiscate...
In a move set to alienate many law-abiding fans, the German authorities will have the power to confiscate and in some cases lock up any fans whose ringtone could be interpreted as anti-German or too jingoistic. Teams of specially trained German 'ringtone squads' (pictured) will check fans phones entering stadia for inflammatory tones. The FA have given the idea their full backing. A spokesman said "We believe the German initiative is an excellent idea and we urge fans to any ringtones that could be conceived as anti-German. We cannot be held responsible for the action taken by the German police if fans are found to be in possession of illegal tones." The definitive list of ringtones the German hit squads could take action against has not been drawn up but it is thought ringtones such as The Great Escape which references an abortive attempt by British POW's to break out of a German prison, Ten German Bombers, Rule Brittania with its empire connotations and Edelweiss - a song from the musical Sound Of Music - which celebrates a family fleeing from the Nazis. Land Of Hope and Glory may also be on the list. Ringtone amnesty bins will be available at most German police stations where offending ringtones can be swapped free of charge for ringtones from Kraftwerk, Boney M or David Hasselhoff.

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Some mobile polyphonic people believe free ringtones are a matter of life and death. I'm very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than MMS or SMS.